Remember

I'm one of those people who finds and remembers the quirky things. That one little thing that someone else may just walk by and not notice. I notice it. I'm not sure why. I guess the mundane is just that to me, mundane. I like out of the ordinary. Sermons, quotes, books. I can almost always tell you when I first (or pretty close to it) heard, read, experienced something for the first time if it is something unique just to me. I think that why this day, not date, but this day popped out to me.

I can be hard headed. I can be especially hard headed when it comes to listening to God. I'm super hard headed when it comes to trusting Him. Trust for me is difficult. Long story short, life has taught me that it's easier when I control circumstances. God doesn't listen to me though. He always has his plans set to go at His time. You'd think, that at the ripe old age of forty-two, that I would have it figured out that, He really does have my best interest at heart and knows exactly what I need and when I need it.

September has historically not been a good month for me in the last 5 years. In early September of 2014, I was fired from a job that I had given my everything to. I do still hold accountability for mistakes I made, but I would be a big fat liar if I didn't admit that there are still times that I think back to that year, the summer leading up to being fired and grit my teeth. It was a tough year. It was a pride busting year. It was a humiliating year.

Fast forward to September of 2015. My husband and I had tried for several years to have a baby. I had tried IUI's and took medications, etc. All the planning, medications, the hoping. It quite literally drove me mad. Yet, here we were. He had convinced me that we should go once again and try for IVF. See, here's the silver lining. While I was working for the corporate world, I had my own insurance. That insurance didn't pay for me to try the more extensive options of medical intervention. September of 2015, we had undergone my first round of IVF. We did the medications. We did the retrieval. We did the fresh cycle transfer. My numbers went up. We were excited. Then the numbers flatlined. Then I spent the night in the ER bleeding and having severe pain. We were disappointed, but oddly enough the blood tests showed that my numbers still continued to climb. Then came the time when we should be able to see the baby on the ultrasound. There was nothing there. The dreaded word "ectopic" was uttered. Statistics for your first round of IVF taking are low. Statistics for an IVF resulting in an ectopic pregnancy are even lower. I experienced both.

September 29, 2015, the last Tuesday of the month I was admitted to the hospital for day surgery. We had tried methotrexalate the week before to terminate the pregnancy once the ectopic was confirmed, but my numbers still continued to climb. I sat that day with the knowledge that once again a little life was lost to me once again. I did amazingly well. My faith was high. I had a great circle of friends to support me and I sincerely felt that God was telling me to just hold on.

At the beginning of 2016, the leaders of the church were asked to stand up and list three things that God was going to do for them this year. My number three was loud and clear. "This year God will give me a baby". I sat down and actually wondered what I had just done. Ugh! What if it didn't happen. I'd live humiliated once again. Oh well, nothing to do but trust God now. Right? Later that month we did our second IVF transfer. It was a frozen transfer this time. It took. I was pregnant. I was fraught with fears, doubts and a super awesome doctor that reminded me consistently of how old I was, how overweight I was and how statistically this could all end a nightmare. It just caused me to cling tighter to God.

August of 2016 ended and I resigned from my position at the church as the church secretary. September came in and I was so excited. Until I got this terrible rash. PUPPS. I don't even think I would even wish this upon my worst enemy. It was THE WORST! It was the worst at night. So not only was I big and uncomfortable from being pregnant, but I was one hot, itchy mess on top of it. THE WORST!

On September 27, 2016, I held my husband's hand as we walked in to the doctor for my weekly appointment. We had just gone in for my weekly ultrasound. (because I was old, overweight, blah, blah) The doctor had already indicated that she wanted to do a c-section and would do it either late this week or early the next when I had entered my 39th week. I looked at my husband and I said, "I'm going to have this baby today". It wasn't some intuition or God speaking through me. I was tired. I itched. I was big. I was hot. I was miserable. I was not having fun being pregnant anymore. Side note: God bless any of you that LOVE being pregnant. I was excited to be having a baby, but that whole experience from the negative nelly dr to all of the appointments was just not enjoyable to me. The dr offered to write a prescription to help me sleep. We weren't excited to do this since it could have side effects for the baby. The dr left the room and then came back in. She said, "I'm not comfortable sending you home. You're blood pressure is too high. (ummm... because I was up all night trying not to itch myself) She needed me to sleep, which was not possible. She needed me to relax, which was also not possible. Since I wouldn't take the medication, she was insistent that we go in and have the baby that day.

Later that evening little man was born by C-section. All my complaints and arguments of C-section went out the window with PUPPS. This day, despite the itch, despite the business, despite it not being what we expected, was now the happiest day of my life. God had finally answered my prayer. He honored my faith given statement. He knows!

It wasn't until a few months later, that I noticed it. I was flipping through my planner from 2015 looking for some notes and I saw it. The last Tuesday of September in 2015. It hit me instantly. Joe was born on the last Tuesday of September in 2016. One year later to the day!

Someone else may not have noticed it. I did! It's quirky. It's subtle. It was so obvious to me. God tapped me on the shoulder and smiled at me.

So, if you ask me if God is faithful, I will say yes! Every year! On the last Tuesday in September, I will remember. He is faithful! He is always on time!

Just to think of it brings this verse and chorus to mind.

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call

I will remember!

It's Fall Ya'll

We are so close to the official first day of fall for 2018. It's time to start breaking out the fall decorations. This includes, but is not limited to fall candles, decor, halloween decor, sweaters, hoodies, hot cocoa, etc. This list could go on and on.

I like summer, but I love spring and fall. (notice I left a season out) Though fall is when nature starts to die off and whither away in preparation for the cold season, it still ranks high on my list. I love the smells. I love sweaters. I love hoodies and I love all the colors.

I know that Haloween can be a controversial subject for some of those in my faith, but I am one who recognizes it. I see it as a day to have fun with your kids while they get to dress up and load themselves up with sugar. If you have an infant or toddler, you get to dress them up, collect candy and load yourself up with sugar. Honestly, I believe that it is a huge teaching opportunity for all of our kids. Historically, Haloween is not what some people have made it to be. So if I am to ban this holiday because of what it has morphed in to, then I need to ban tv, the internet, my phone, Christmas... you get my point. 

Besides... then you can't get cute stuff like this for your kid.

https://www.mythirtyone.com/us/en/1902279/product/8330

So tomorrow I will most likely be found in our storage room pulling out bins for fall. When it feels like fall, smells like fall and acts like fall. It's probably fall time!!

Starting Over... Again!

Ironically, I have already written this blog once. Something happened. Most likely an operator error. Regardless, none of it saved. So, I am starting over.

Starting over. This has been my mantra for a couple of months now. I am your typical female, mom, former leader, workaholic, people pleasing person. I hate making mistakes. I mean I REALLY HATE MAKING MISTAKES. No one can every chastise or beat me up more than I do myself. I'm very hard on myself. I have very unrealistic goals and standards I set for myself. It's crazy! Some of them are so out of this world that I can never even begin to attain to them. I set myself up to disappoint myself. I lead myself to the dark pit of depression and have consistently lived a life of stumbling.

Some of these unrealistic expectations come from the way I grew up. I love God. I love the church. BUT I'm coming to realize that living for God isn't quite so black and white. Settle down now everyone. I believe that there are black and white guidelines that God has given us, but I do believe that there are rules and guidelines that many Christians enforce upon themselves and others that are just not as important to God as they are to us. What are those? Read the book. Pray about it. Consult with your Pastor. Is it a heaven or hell issue? Will it consistently cause others around you to stumble? I am not saying that we should not hold ourselves to a higher standard, but the standard should be something that compliments your walk with God and His holiness. How I dress, my appearance, the way I talk, my actions are they pleasing to God?

Other unrealistic expectations come from what I put before me. Social media, tv, the internet, blog posts. None of these things are terrible on their own, but there may be things that I see and allow myself to become envious of. When I become envious I start setting an unrealistic goal.

It isn't just about unrealistic expectations though. I fail when it comes to expectations that I should be able to attain to, but because of these other expectations I've had I come down really hard on myself even when I mess up on simple things.

I've been reading a lot about grace lately. God is so full of grace and mercy. This reading has really thrown a wrench in to some of my ideologies, the way I function and think. God doesn't want us to fail and when we do He helps pick us up, helps us brush our knees and hands, wipes the tears from our eyes and helps us get back on our path. Why do we not have this same kind of grace for ourselves? Why is it that when I mess up my world comes apart? We limit God. We fall down and do one of the following:

1. Sit and pout (wallow in depression)

2. Push God away and say we can get up on our own (pride)

3. Allow Him to help us up, but keep beating ourselves up (unforgiveness)

Don't get me wrong. Depression is a real thing and can lead you down a black hole that is so unimaginably hard to get out of, but we don't have to live in it. Look up, forgive yourself because God has already forgiven you. I'm not perfect. I never will be here on earth. I have to forgive myself.

Want to know the best part of learning to forgive yourself is? That you become less judgmental when it comes to other peoples failures. When you stop holding yourself to impossible tasks, you stop holding others as well. It is so freeing! You have to try it.

If you'd like to read some amazing books about God's grace and setting realistic and attainable goals and standards for yourself then check out these books.

Less Than Is Perfect

The past couple of months I have been reading (and listening) to some pretty amazing books. I'm in a transition phase of my life. I have been struggling the last year trying to balance my family, ministry work and serving God. 

 

It's been a fight. Mostly because I don't know when to give in or maybe when I'm supposed to give in. I love ministry. The positive is that I love helping people. The negative is that it's one of my drugs because I get to hear those positive affirmations and words of appreciation from people when there is a job well done. I love my husband and my son to the moon and back, but the praise department does not live in our house. I need that! I crave the praise and appreciation of the people around me. It's how I know I'm a good person right? 

So here is my lesson. I don't need praise to know I'm a good person. I don't need to be in charge of or participating directly in a ministry to know that I have earned God's love. I don't have to be doing everything that everyone thinks I should be doing to be a good wife and mother. I don't.

People love me for who I am. My real friends know that I am an amazing person. Do I have faults and failures? Yes, but isn't that part of what makes me fun to be around? I'm normal. That's right! Faults and failures are normal. God did not make us perfect. 

Am I lonely? Absolutely! My main conversations are with an 18 month old. Once you take a step back from being busy all of the time your phone stops buzzing, your inbox decreases, people who once were always talking to you no longer have anything to say to you. It isn't just lonely, it kind of hurts. This is not something that I have completely worked through, but it is definitely something that I have learned from. I used to reach out to people that were standing at the back wall, hoping to be noticed, but afraid to walk in to the middle of the room. Then I became too busy to interact with them. It's a reminder that there are people who need to be recognized and remembered. I don't need to sit and see if someone will call me, text me, email me. I can reach out to them just to say "hello, I was thinking about you today". My value to people is not dependent on what role I play in the church.

I don't have to earn God's love. That isn't how He works. He is a God full of grace, mercy and love. I have been in this rat race of trying to prove how much I love Him, that I deserve His grace, that I have earned my right to be by His side. I've been treating God like He is a person. He isn't. My value to Him isn't dependent on my usefulness to Him. 

Finally, I don't have to be a perfect wife, mother or friend. I make mistakes all the time, I am not the best housekeeper, I have a desire to have things and because of it we have a house full of clutter right now. I should exercise and eat better, but have a constant battle with the effort it takes to do it. I need to complain less about my husband and be more patient with my son. These are just some of the things that I have been very hard on myself in the past because these are things that make me less than perfect. I'm frustrated with myself just thinking about it. 

The author's of these two books consistently reminded me that I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to meet the demands of what everyone thinks I should be doing and most importantly that I don't have to earn God's love. These are basic thoughts, I know that I'm not the only one that struggles with this. I know it because both authors are very transparent about their struggles in their books and they wouldn't have written books if they didn't know that others struggle with the same feelings.

Present Over Perfect and Grace Not Perfections have helped me tremendously. I resigned from the ministries that I was involved in in my church. That's right, I said ministries with an s at the end. I have been taking time to reprioritize my family over ministry. It has been difficult, because I yearn for people to recognize me when they walk by me. I want to be valued. However, it has also been amazing. I'm not so tired anymore. I have energy and time to do things with my son like go to the library, park and someday when spring finally makes it to Wisconsin the zoo. I have more time to clean. Of course, it isn't my favorite thing to do, but I don't have a bazillion excuses to put it off. Plus, my son loves cleaning and helping, so that makes it a little more fun. Lastly, I have time for my husband. I have time to listen to him. He loves coming home to a clean(er) house. Though he doesn't say it every time he walks in the door I know that he appreciates it. He in turn has made more of an effort to spend more quality time with myself and our son. 

So though, I do not have the big crowd singing my praises, I have the praises of my son and husband. I have time to focus on something specific and be intentional. I love the word intentional. To me it means I'm doing it on purpose. Most importantly I have brought some semblance of balance back to my life and that my friends is the big picture lesson. We can love God, serve Him and have a fulfilled life with balance in our life.

I highly recommend these books. I actually listened to Present Over Perfect on Audible while I did housework. Either way, you will not be disappointed in what you read or hear.

                                                 

God Gave Us Easter Book Review

Here's my book review for Lisa Tawn Bergren's book God Gave Us Easter. This book is amazing, cute, sweet and a great read for the kiddo's.

I love how Papa Bear explains to Little Cub that both the Easter Bunny & Santa remind us of the gifts and good things we receive during holidays, but that God is the real reason we celebrate and why.

The author does an amazing job of explaining the reason that God came to earth and died on a cross for us and starts at the flood and follows through with the story of redemption.

Click here to watch my Youtube review.

How About A Little Vaseline?

Recently, little man has developed a rash around his chin and one of his cheeks that just won't seem to go away. It doesn't seem to bother him. It does, however, become bright red sometimes and can look ugly. I looked up some different possible causes and the most likely cause is teething. With teething comes lots and lots of saliva. We definitely see a lot anyway. 

I asked some different moms, past and present, what they would do. Some moms suggested Lotrimin. I'm not sure that I'm comfortable putting a chemical meant to dry up athletes foot that close to little man's mouth. The other suggestion was Vaseline. I decided to try this and it worked like a charm. I didn't even layer it on thick. It was barely noticeable. I'm sure seeing how this works I would probably be able to also use Aquaphor.

Date Night With Play Dough

Of course, it's winter in Wisconsin. We are stranded inside with the low temps and windshields that are very negative. This has me looking for new things to do with little man to keep him busy and give him new things to discover and play with.

So, after a little searching I found a recipe that I liked to make some play dough. It was so easy to make.

Play Dough Recipe

Ingredients
2 tbs cooking oil
4 tbs Cream of Tartar
2 cups plain flour
1 cup salt
2 cups water
Food colouring

Directions:
Mix all the ingredients in a saucepan and stir over medium heat for 3-5 minutes, until the mixture solidifies.

Once the play dough solidified I was able to scoop it in to a freezer bag. Little man and I got together at the table and had some fun. Little man did try to sneak some bites, but the taste was not pleasant. (tip - do not accidentally lick your fingers while making) Once he figured out that it was not edible, we had some fun.

(no worries... that's milk on his chin)

 Overall, this was fairly easy and provided an immediate 15-20 minutes of fun. Since we were able to save the play dough I am sure it will provide some more fun as well. Bonus: Everything was easy to clean up.

Book Review #8: Naughty Mabel Sees It All

Sorry for crazy hair friends! It's been one of those real days!

Keep It Shut Chapter 10: Something To Talk About

I have to tell you that I am very emotional about this chapter. I've really struggled since starting this book. I've always had a hard time controlling the words that come out of my mouth. I'm one of those emotional types. I can hold in what I say for the most part, but if you turn the fire up under the pot and I can get myself in to a lot of trouble.

The past few months I have been very angry. I've been praying recently that God would reveal to me the source of this anger so that I could sort it out and move on in my life. I can't pinpoint when it started, but I can pinpoint when I noticed it. I noticed it in March. I nearly drove a man down in his vehicle because he cut me off when getting on to the interstate. Up until recently I still had a picture of his license plates in my phone. I was going to stalk this man. I have no idea what I was going to do once I was face to face with him, but let me tell you that day I knew I was going to do something.

This anger has also led me to say a lot of things, that even if they were true, were not kind. We have recently made a lot of changes to the Children's Ministry in my church. I am the director. I had a great conversation with my Pastor and the Assistant Pastor about these changes. We knew we would receive backlash, but man I couldn't believe the type of backlash we received. Someone that rarely ever shows me any type of attitude or anger jumped on me about these changes. I knew that the source of some of that anger came from the person that delivered the news to this person.

In order to cope, I have started pointing that finger while blaming and speaking hate. I've been yelling about people not keeping their mouths shut, speaking out of turn and pretty much have had the attitude of "like it or get out". I'm not saying my anger in this situation isn't justified, but I will tell you that I think my anger is causing a ripple that was started to grow. I read an analogy that I want to share with you straight from the words of the author.

"I tried water-skiing once - and only once. It was the summer of 1976 and I was in the seventh grade. I had traveled with my mother and grandfather to upper Wisconsin for a week of vacation. My cousins were very skilled at all things aquatic. They were good swimmers. They loved to fish. And they could water-ski like no one's business. So they go the bright idea of teaching their land-loving cousin how to water-ski too.

Things started off well enough. I placed the skis on my feet and bobbed up and down in my bright-orange life jacket in the deep part of the lake, clutching the line attached to the boat my uncle Lee was about to drive. I had listened to all the instructions about how to get up on the skies and then how, once I was finally standing, to ski in a way that I would not fall.

My uncle revved up the engine and took off. I did everything I thought I was supposed to, and pretty soon I was standing up and skiing. However, I encountered a slight problem. My skis started to drift off course and into the wake, a V-shaped formation of rushing water generated behind a boat. While it is pretty, it is also powerful. And when a novice twelve-year-old water-skier accidentally gets her left ski caught in the wake, she soon gets the scare of her life.

I flipped. And flopped. I took in gallons of water in both my mouth and nose. And I continued to be dragged behind the boat in the wake of my uncle's joyride. Now, had I only been smart enough to let go of the line, this whole incident would not have been so traumatic. But I was in shock and wasn't thinking straight and somehow surmised that holding on for dear life was the right thing to do. As I said, it was the first and last time I ever went waterskiing.

Wakes are powerful. So are our words. And our word choices often leave behind a wake that can cause a ripple effect - for good or for ill - on all those around us. What is in your wake?" ~ Excerpt taken from Keep It Shut by Karen Ehman

How many times in the past couple of months have my words left a wake of destruction? Will my words lead to the destruction of someone's walk with God? I can honestly say I'm scared to know the answer to those.

I sat reading this chapter while I rocked my son to sleep. I had to lay my book aside as I sobbed in repentance. The changes to the Children's Ministry have been frustrating for everyone involved. I have the option to make the changes seem seamless and positive or I can bring more negativity and death to this ministry.

I will choose life. I will seek out forgiveness. I will choose better words. I will listen before I respond. I will be careful with my nonverbal ques. I will be fair to everyone involved and not rehash history. Everyone deserves the same fresh start I do everyday. I will change someone's history. I will believe the best of every situation.

I never want to stand before God as He shows me the destruction I was responsible for. I can do this... or keep my mouth shut.

 

 

It's For Your Own Good

A little over a month after I was fired from my job in 2014, this cat showed up in my life. He was THE sweetest thing ever. I was at an all time emotional low. My self-confidence was crushed. God knew I needed someone or something to love ME unconditionally.

It was a tough sell. Both my husband and I love animals, but our house was already full with three dogs and two cats. Each of these animals would (and still do) give me love, until my husband came home. Then I was just the chopped liver that someone tried to eat, but vomited back up on the floor. Honestly, we did not need another animal. However, you couldn't deny how much love this little guy had to give and he was so social.

We tried to do the responsible thing. With my husband being the only one working, another pet was not what we needed financially. My husband left with him in the car, but returned with him a little later. The humane society near us said they do not do intake from the public and we would have to take the cat to the county humane society. My husband told them he wasn't comfortable with this since it was a kill shelter. Their reply was "yes, but it's only a low kill shelter". So the cat came home.

My husband wanted to call him Whiskey since he had taken up residence in the whiskey barrel planter we had on our deck. Dan, however, lacks imagination when it comes to naming animals. His right to naming was revoked after he named our calico cat Callie. I had a couple of regal names that I threw out there that were nixed, but we finally agreed upon Dexter. Dan felt it was appropriate since he had taken up residence on our deck and I was also happy because one of my all time favorite shows (I admit this with minimal shame) was Dexter. Why would you not want to name your cat after a character that is a serial killer that kills serial killers?

Dexter was my one and only love in the house. When I came home he would be sitting on the very edge of the kitchen island, as close to the edge as he could get to put him closer to me. It didn't matter where I went, downstairs, upstairs, bathroom, kitchen, living room, Dexter was always there right beside me. Even to this day, I know that this cat loves me unconditionally and I love him the same. The dynamic of the house has changed a little in the past year with the baby, so he doesn't follow me around quite as much, but every night when I crawl in to bed, up hops my favorite animal in the house to cuddle with me for a few minutes before he goes down by my feet to sleep.

The one thing that Dexter does is beg to go outside. In the past, we have had trouble with him sneaking out when we opened the door to let the dogs out. We would have to act fast to catch him and bring him back. When we go outdoors, Dexter will sit next to the nearest window or door to you so that he can peer out at you. He will alternate between staring hard at you and meowing really loud as if death could be at his door.

Dexter doesn't understand that I keep him inside for his own good. You see, we have coyotes that frequent our yard and neighborhood. We occasionally have owls that like to search out small prey. Of course, there are hawks as well. This doesn't include the foxes, stray cats, opossum and other little animals that may look cute, but could in fact mean danger to my beloved cat.

I sometimes wonder if Dexter looks out at the dogs and thinks "it isn't fair". His eyes tell me he thinks it. I know I would think it. Sitting there in the window watching those dogs run around free, chasing the birds and squirrels. I know it probably doesn't seem fair.

Dexter really wants to go outside. He wants to explore and chase things. He wants to roll in the grass and be free. He doesn't see the dangers that I do because they are not visible to his eye. He hasn't had a reminder of the dangers lurking out there for him. The safety of the house has given him a false sense of security.

Isn't that the same way with God? Doesn't He love us so much that He puts up roadblocks to steer us from danger. Maybe He closes the proverbial screen door to keep us in safety. Sometimes, He dodges after us and grabs us by the scruff of the neck (sometimes the tail if that's the only thing He can grab) before we disappear in to the world of danger.

It doesn't always feel good and sometimes we are left with a whole lot of questions swimming around in our head. Why didn't I get that job? Why isn't that friend in my life anymore? Why wasn't it easier to have a baby? Maybe you've used the "it isn't fair" line. Maybe you've wanted to just linger a little bit in your old life. God sees the dangers, whether big or small, and understands what they can mean to our lives. He isn't trying to deprive us of what we see others enjoying, but He is trying to protect us until we are ready to walk through that door or handle circumstances that we might not have been able to handle in the past. Maybe we need time to grow. Maybe we may never step outside that particular door again.

I'm thankful that I serve a God that loves me so much that He will protect me even if I question Him. Even if I doubt Him. Even if I stare longingly at what others have and I think I want. He loves me. I'm thankful He doesn't send me off to another shelter with the thought of "well it's only a low kill shelter over there... hopefully she does well there". He has my best interest at heart and does everything for my own good.

Photographs Of You

Every time I blink my eyes I take a mental photo of you. You are my heart little man. Every smile, frown, laugh, giggle and cry is recorded in my mind. I can't get enough of you. I sit and stare at you and think of how blessed I am and how full my heart is. Sometimes I catch you looking at me. When I catch you, you smile. Only one other man has made my heart swell like that when he smiles at me. I'm thankful with every breath I breathe for the gift that I've been given in you.

Someday's I can't wait for you to hold your own bottle. I grow aggravated when you insist on being held. I become impatient because I fall victim to the demands of today's world. I don't want to be aggravated that you want me near. I love when you look at me with your sweet little eyes and smile at me. It makes my heart break when you've been crying for me to pick you up and you get excited when I do. I want every moment between us to be precious.

So, I will choose to let you grow at your own pace. I won't rush you. I will choose to slow down and enjoy every moment with you. I promise to hold you anytime you need me to. I will choose to enjoy every precious moment of the blessing I've been given.

I know one day there is the possibility that you may not want to snuggle with me. It's possible you may be aggravated with me or impatient. Maybe I'll be embarrassing to you. I hope and pray not, but understand that it is sometime a natural process of the parent/child relationship. If that's the case, I'll close my eyes and review all the mental photos and videos I've taken of you. If not, then I have all these memories to keep close to my heart.

Click. I love you!

Book Review #7: Two Books About Color & A Cautionary Tale

Hey everybody! We're back with a few reviews in one video. I am continually amazed at how much my son enjoys listening to me read books to him and how much he enjoys touching and looking at the books. This makes my heart happy! I truly want to instill a love for reading in to him. We hope you enjoy the review.

It's A Beautiful Day & A Small Rant

Yesterday the phone kept ringing. Jo didn't take a good nap. One of these days I'm going to figure out how to turn the ringer off on each of the cordless phones we have, but sometimes it's a chore finding one of the five. Yes! It's a first world problem.

Anyway, I looked at my phone and it said it was fifty degrees outside. We had another long weekend of sitting in the car and stroller. (I wasn't in the stroller, but you know what I mean) So I bundled my son up and took him to the park. We did do a short stroll in the park, but it was all new to him so there were moments of complete silence followed with wild squeals of glee, followed by what sounds like some singing.

We went over to the playground and tried out the swing for the first time. He was loving it! He smiled and giggled the whole time. It was beautiful! Every time I think my heart can't swell anymore my son smiles at me.

I wanted to get some video of his giggles, but there were two clucking hens in the background so it was ruined. Yes! I'm being a Judgy Judy this morning, but when your kid is screaming "my hands are two colds I need help" as he dangles from the monkey bars and you just sit there clucking along with your pal until I turn around to look at you, then I'm going to judge you a little. I'll probably repent years from now when Joseph is screaming dramatically, as he is prone to do, hanging from the monkey bars and I lay back tired, on the bench and think "at least the ground is the soft cushioned stuff if he falls". For now though, my judgy finger is shaking.

We met up with my sister in law and her kids and took another short little jaunt. I admit it was nice to get out in the fresh air and move around. We had a good laugh at my sister in laws "geocache" find. Unfortunately, the air turned quick and it became pretty cold. So, we went to Panera and had some soup and visited a little longer there.

I'm hungry for some more nice days! I can't wait to get out and help Jo explore this grand world around him. There is a whole new world of discovery out there for him and it's going to be one exciting summer.

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Book Review #5: On The Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman

Today's book review is sentimental (and a little funny if you watch it). I remember the days when the thought of holding my own baby was just a dream. You know! One of those dreams you hope for, but will always remain just a dream. 

The night my son was born was a marvelous and beautiful night. I remember being so exhausted before he was even here and relieved that I no longer had to wait to see him. I remember insisting he stay with me in my room and only allowed the nurses to take him to the nursery once. I didn't want him out of my sight. I was (and honestly still sometimes am) in awe that I made this little guy.

Book Review #4

Hi all! Little man joined us today for our book review. We just recently picked both of these books up. I got them at Costco, but as usual, they can be found on Amazon as well. We bought the books a little cheaper, but if you have Amazon Prime your savings is better if you do not have a Costco nearby.

My Treasure

Today, I put a 12 month outfit on my almost six month old son. It was just a little big, but oh so very cute! It brought the tears.  Everyday I experience something that causes my heart to swell with pride at the same time it clenches with a pang of sorrow. Then another memory is formed. It's hard to believe that six months ago I didn't have him in my life. He is a treasure that just keeps bringing more joy.

 

I am already overflowing with memories. Each time he smiles at me, when he jumps excitedly in his jumperoo because I've walked in to the room, watching him belly laugh as he plays with his daddy, when he puts his hand on my cheek and then snuggles in close, when he buries his head in my neck and breathes in deep. These are just a few of my favorites, but then again, how do you really choose a favorite memory?

There was one day that I thought these moments would never be. Now every moment is treasured. Don't get me wrong! This boy is a typical baby who sometimes cries, whines and makes me question sanity, but even these moments I try to treasure. I wouldn't have all the other memories if I didn't have him. I also wouldn't have a typical baby then. I have a friend who says "he's perfect" and he is, but in my mind wouldn't be if he wasn't a typical baby.

All of this is prominent in my mind because I realized something today. I remember throughout my pregnancy and after my son was first born I would wake up in the morning and make my first thought to be a thank you to God for gifting me with this wonderful gift. As time has gone by and life has gotten busier, I forget. So today, I take time out of the hectic schedule to say "thank you God for my perfect gift, this beautiful treasure".

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Book Review #3

Here we are again with another book review. We have nearly two and a half shelves filled with books. Some we have bought ourselves and some were given to us at our baby shower. My husband and I want to share our love of books with our son and hope that he will grow to love reading as much as we do.