Surviving Colic (probably part one of a 100 part series)

There is the question "What causes colic?" or "What is colic?" If you've stumbled upon this blog because you googled colic and your searching like mad to find some sense of peace than you know the same as I at this point... there is no real answer. Or maybe your a friend of mine reading this and have been through the situation yourself.
Frustrating to say the least! Even now, sitting here in the temporary evening silence, I want to weep with the weariness of it all. There are many well meaning souls who offer you such advice as "all babies cry" or "welcome to motherhood" (admittedly that one makes me want to slug people the most... motherhood does not equal being terrorized for eight plus hours a night of crying) Of course, there are the really overly helpful people that just know if they could be present when the baby is crying they could solve all of your problems. This one is aggravating as well. We live in an information age. I have googled, read and searched for every possible solution to the long evenings of crying. I have rocked, played music for, sang to, put the baby in a bouncer, let the baby "cry it out", taken him for so many car rides that oil industry should be sending my husband and I thank you letters.
The truth is you don't know or understand until you have lived the life day after day. What works one day may (and most likely) will not work the next day. You squeeze your eyes shut most days and pray that God touch your baby. You cry with your baby. You search desperately for possible answers.
Most importantly you start learning to cope. During a ten minute period of peace you run down to the laundry room to switch everything over. You take a few minutes to pump if you are breastfeeding. You stand at the refrigerator door and stuff as much food and liquid in your mouth until the baby starts crying again. You let the dogs out and for just a brief moment stand outside, lift your face to the sky and breathe. If you're smart you've realized that baby sleeps well when your holding him. So you settle down with your ipad, computer, book, tv remote and multitask of sorts.
When people come over to visit you attack that pile of unfolded laundry that you've been piling up from your sneak visits to the basement. You drop the baby in their arms, wish them luck and run to the bathroom for what is probably a much needed shower. (yes... I have cried huge tears wishing for the moment I can just get in to the shower) When we attended our birthing and newborn care classes the teacher advised having a list of things to do for people who come over to visit. I thought this was an excellent ideal. My views on this have changed a bit. Doing these tasks offers me a moment of normalcy.
I say all of this with a huge pile of guilt in my heart. For eight years we waited for a child. Eight very long, very frustrating years. We went through the IVF process to find final success. We wanted a baby so very badly. It pains me that I look forward to someone asking if they can hold my baby and the relief that I feel that my hands will be free for a few minutes. Guilt washes over me when I finally grow weary enough of the crying that I have to call my husband to come home from work to relieve me. The internal struggle of loving a being so much it aches, but being so utterly frustrated that there is nothing you can do to relieve whatever it is that is making this being cry and scream.
So to all of you mom's out there dealing with the pain. I hear you. To anyone reading this with a friend going through this, don't ask what you can do. Evaluate! Find what you can do and do it! Oddly enough, asking what you can do only adds to the pile of guilt a mother will add on top of what she has already put on herself. Just do it!
Alas, someone calls my name... to be continued.

Rummage Sale Day Coming!

The O'Brien household is having a rummage sale this coming weekend. Please stop by and buy some of our stuff. (preferably all of it) Also, let me know if you are interested in bringing some stuff over to sell as well. I'm attaching a link with additional information and photo's.

Rummage Sale Info

Give Me Faith

There are a lot of "I wonder's" in my mind today!
Imagine yourself out in your yard picking up some sticks. This isn't just an ordinary yard pick up day. You are picking up sticks in order to make a fire that will cook a last meal for both you and your son. It's a pretty bleak day. You expect death to be upon you soon after.
You see there has been a famine in the land for quite some time. In your kitchen sits just a little bit of oil and a little bit of flour. Enough just to make one final meal. You've probably been meagerly portioning out meals in the hopes that the famine would end before this day came, but it didn't.
So here you are, prepping your last meal. You're preparing yourself for one last taste of goodness before hunger turns death. I wonder if you are determined to just let fate happen. I wonder if there is any hope at all. I wonder if you are walking around in a delayed sense hoping your circumstances will change. I wonder if there is just a little bit of hope that the God that freed the Israelites from slavery would make a miracle happen for you and your son.
The Bible tells us of a woman in the Bible that was doing just this. While she was picking up sticks to prepare her meal a man of God walks up to her and asks not just for water, but for a little bit of food as well. She tells the man that she has just enough flour and oil to make one last meal for her and her son and that they then planned to die. The prophet, Elijah, tells her go on and make a cake for him first, then one for her and her son. He then promises her that if she does that, she and her son will not go hungry the rest of the famine. Of course, we know that when we read the story, the woman follows Elijah's orders and the Bible tells us that the flour and oil never ran out during the remaining time of the famine.
I wonder what that woman thought when Elijah told her to take what little food she had saved for her and her son's last meal and make a meal for him first and then them. What? WHAT? Didn't you just hear me preacher man? I said I'm making our last meal and then we are going to die! The Bible doesn't tell us what exact emotions ran through the widow's mind, the doubts that plagued her or even maybe some resentment that she was feeling. It only tells us that she went and did as the prophet bade her to do and because of her obedience her and her son never died of starvation.
Jesus told us in Matthew 17, that if we had faith the size of a mustard seed that we could tell a mountain to move and it would move. The verse finishes by saying, "nothing would be impossible".
Faith takes obedience! Faith takes doing what I can do and then letting God do the rest! Faith takes trust! Faith takes love! Faith takes WORK! But with it... nothing is impossible!
Hebrews 11 is a great chapter on faith. It starts off by defining faith for us. It's something that we can't see physically, but hope for with our spiritual eyes. It tells us about men of the Old Testament and how they did actions based on faith. Verse 6 even tells us that it is impossible to please God without faith. The rest of the chapter goes through even more Old Testament figures that used their faith muscles.
None of these people were perfect. Some had made big mistakes. Take for instance Sarah who was old. God promised her a son. When she first heard it she laughed. If I were in my nineties I'd probably laugh as well I think. However, God still performed a miraculous work and gave her a son that would be a start of a great nation.
I want mustard seed faith. I want the faith that says "move mountain" and it moves. I want that faith that would go and prepare my last meal for another person trusting that God would provide as promised. I want faith that believes the impossible is possible through my God. I want it!
Lord, give me that mustard seed faith. Give me that unwavering faith. Give me faith that will move mountains. Help me to learn to love you so much that I see that nothing is impossible with you! I have requests Lord! Things I selfishly want for my life. Things I want for others. I need that faith. Give me mustard seed love! Give me mustard seed faith!

A Deliberate Touch

The story starts out for someone else. A man named Jarius. His daughter is sick and he comes to beg Jesus to go home with him and heal his daughter. Jesus agrees and begins the journey with Jarius.
Of course, the crowd that typically surrounded Jesus followed them. At one point, Jesus turns and asks the crowd, "Who touched me?"
This is of course a strange question to the disciples. They were surrounded by people. They say, "Master this whole crowd is pressing up against you."
Jesus is God manifest in the flesh. He KNOWS who touched. Some say He asked the question because He wanted the one who touched Him to step forward so He could teach them it was He who healed them and not just a magical touch of His garments. Others speculate that He wanted to teach the crowd a lesson. Neither of these stuck out to me as I read the passage.
What stuck out to me was Jesus' reply when the disciples tried to brush away His concerns that someone had touched Him. He said, "Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me."

Someone didn't touch Jesus because He was the newest and hottest fad. Someone didn't touch Jesus because they had nothing better to do. A woman fought her way through the crowd to touch Jesus with the thought of "If only I could touch the hem of His garment I could be healed". A deliberate touch.
The Bible tells us that the woman had an issue of blood. Jewish law said that any man that touched a menstruating woman would become "ceremonially unclean". This would have held true whether it was a natural time for her or in her specific case an "abnormal circumstance". This woman was to be avoided, but she was desperate. Desperate for a healing. So desperate that she didn't try to get Jesus' attention and risk rejection. So desperate that she didn't call out His name to gain His attention as others had. She was so desperate that she didn't need to bear words. She said, "If only I could touch Him".
It was that faith that brought her a healing. The kind of faith that said, "I don't care what others say." She just wanted a healing.
I want that kind of faith. Faith that doesn't care about what others say. Faith that doesn't care who is in the way. Faith that says "I just want to touch Him."
How about you? How long have you been praying for something? Are you daring and bold enough to deliberately touch the God of the universe? I promise you, if you do, you won't walk away disappointed. You will walk away with the healing you seek! You will even walk away with peace, but first you have to deliberately touch Him!

Mustard Seed Faith

When you think about it, it's so easy to say that I have faith for something. Lately, the Lord has been dealing with me about this. Am I just saying I have faith? Or do I really have faith? Do I have faith that will move mountains.
I was reading through some Scriptures on faith and I came across the Scriptures when Jesus talked about mustard seed faith. The conversation came about because a man had come to Jesus and asked him to heal his son. The man said that his son would "have seizures" and "fall into fires and water". The man said to Jesus "I brought him to your disciples, but they couldn't heal him". Jesus seems a little irritated when he turns to to address the crowd, but then he calls for the boy, rebukes the demon and the boy was healed.
Afterward, the disciples come to Jesus and ask Him "why?". Why you and not us? Jesus very simply tells them that they do not have enough faith. It sounds as if the disciples were saying that they had faith, but didn't actually have the faith to back up their words.

At the beginning of this year, my pastor asked me to come up to the front of the church and speak faith over some things that were going to happen in my life. I spoke those words. I called out a committed life to God for my husband, restoration to God for my family and babies for my husband and myself. Those are some pretty tall orders. I spoke those in faith!
Now, it's three or four weeks later. It's hard to hold on to those words. We look for an immediate answer. When it doesn't comes, we start to justify our words, God's untimely answer, etc. Where is my faith? Why is it so easy to say it, but not believe it?
Jesus when speaking to His disciples told them that if they had faith of even a mustard seed, you could say to a mountain to "move" and it would move! WHOA! Now that is a faith that is believed. Jesus even follows up with something that should resound in our heads over and over again. "Nothing would be impossible".
If I have mustard seed faith for those things that I spoke of than I realize that nothing is impossible! Nothing! The things I listed in my moment of passion can be fulfilled because I said them with a sincere heart. All I have to do is believe.
So what is the difference between just saying it and believing it? I believe it comes from a true fear of the Lord. Not just an "I love you" moment, but an everyday, every breath, every step commitment with Him. It comes from a true bond that has been formed with the One True God! When we have a true relationship with Him, we can easily rest in the fact that whatever we ask in His name will be done.
So what is it that you've called out in faith to God? Have you grown weary from waiting to see it happen? Or did you not believe it in the first place?
Join me today, as we take the step of growing a deeper relationship with Him. Let's grow a love so deep for Him that we are nothing but secure when speaking out in faith.


Here is my favorite Bible to use while studying.