MOB Activities Children's Book Review #1

Thirty One Challenge

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Michelle O'Brien

myrtlturtle@gmail.com

www.mythirtyone.com/1902279

He Knows Before We Do

Yesterday was one of those rough days. My son had been spitting up. It was a very smelly spit up so my guess is a sour tummy since he did not have a fever and he's fine today. It was a church night and typically I go to the church earlier in the day but had stayed home with the little man. 

It was finally time to go. I grabbed the diaper bag and baby and left. Everything was going fine until I went to change my sons diaper. 

It has been awhile since he has taken aim on me, but he attempted. He failed in getting me, but managed to soak his clothes including his socks. I reached in to the diaper bag and found a onesie and that was it. I cringed. My first thought was "Well, it is unseasonably warm in Wisconsin for February, he'll be fine with just the onesie for church". Then I thought of all the helpful advice I'd receive about making my son sick.

I put my son in his car seat and pulled out the container to mix a bottle up for him. I noticed I had prepped two bottles with water, but had not refilled the container with formula. I only had enough for one bottle. Another parenting fail if my son were to get hungry before we headed home.

I sighed and mixed the bottle. I dropped the baby off with my Pastor's wife and flew off to the nearby Goodwill. I found pants, but could not find socks. I ran over to Pick N Save with a hope and prayer, but that was fruitless.

I headed back to church. I needed to get the baby dressed before church started and anyone noticed my half naked son. I thought, "Well, I have pants. He'll be fine withou socks. It is 63 degrees in February".

When I arrived at the church I raced in and explained my dilemma to my friend and her family as they walked in along with me. I went to retrieve my son from my Pastor's wife. I was standing there explaining to her my fail on getting socks. As I explained, my friends daughter walked up to me holding this cute pair of boots for my son. I nearly wept. Now I could have my son dressed head to toe and avoid the helpful tips from others.

You see it has been one of those weeks where I feel like a parent fail. Not just a feeling, but was even told it. God knew what was going to happen last night. He knew what I would be able to do and where He would need to come in. I'll never forget seeing a smiling young lady holding a pair of boots and the feeling of relief.

I'm thankful I serve a God who knows what I need before I need it.

Hanging Clothes Out On The Clothesline

It has been unseasonably warm the last couple of days here in Wisconsin. This has created a flurry in our house to wash laundry and get them outside to dry on the clothesline.

While hanging clothes out on the line is time consuming (in my opinion), it has so many benefits that far outweigh the any negatives.

Benefits:
- You save money. In the summer, we use our gas appliances so little that every year WE Energies sends us a letter saying they think our meter is broke and charge us an estimated fee. We used to call and demand the estimation be removed from the bill, but once start using the appliances again they issue us a credit. This is helpful in the fall months preceding the holiday season.
- Lots of vitamin D. As I said, in my opinion, it can take some extra time, but you do get to spend that time out in the sun.
- Your laundry smells amazing. I went downstairs early in the morning to grab a bottle for my son. As I walked up the steps I was hit with the wonderful fragrance of outside. I had changed our bed yesterday. The sheets were from the drawer, but the bedspread I had washed and dried outside. Our entire upstairs and stairway had a fresh smell from one bedspread.
- Improved mood. Of course, everything smells fresh and you've spent time outside soaking up that vitamin D.

So, if you haven't done so in the past, I encourage you to, in anyway possible dry your clothes outside when the weather is permitting.
 

Practice What You Preach (and read)

I heard it through the grapevine! Oh lordy! It's sad, but true. As some of you may know I have been reading this book "Keep It Shut" by Karen Ehman. I have been learning a lot from this book. Little by little I have started making changes to things I allow to come out of my mouth. I am perfect by no means, but I am trying.

 

Today I was given a reminder as to why I am trying to make these changes. I was speaking with a loved one and they mentioned that they were talking to another loved one. Loved one #2 made a comment to loved #1 about me. In short, the comment was something along the lines of I am always to busy, I am neglecting my son because I am to busy and if I didn't want my son I could give him to them. I was (truthfully... still am) hurt by this. Anyone that truly knows me, knows my son is my number one priority.

I want to hurt someone. I want to yell and yes... possibly punch someone in the throat. I want to rage at the world right now. I want to get on my phone and call people to get sympathetic support. I want to text, email or call the offender to confront them. I want to grumble and complain, feel sorry for myself and most of all, I want to cry. However, I won't. 

There are some different aspects to this whole situation that I want to mention that I have to consider while sorting out my feelings. 

• Loved one #2 has no right to finger point in this particular area. 
• Loved one #1 maybe took something said out of context.
• Loved one #2 may be commenting on something that they have only snapshot info on. (most likely the case since they do not live nearby)
• Loved one #1 could have possibly been fueling the flames to lead up to this statement.
• What have I done or said to give loved one #2 this impression?

I have to consider all of these things as I sort through my emotions. Then I have to face the fact that I can't even dwell on the actual answers to the first four statements  because I wasn't there to hear the conversation. If I make decisions based off of those facts then I am just I am guilty of making assumptions and I will continue the cycle of negativity. I can only reflect on and control my own actions.

Now some may say that maybe loved one #1 shouldn't have repeated what loved one #2 had said. While this may be true, I am actually thankful they did say something. The reason I am thankful is because it has given me a moment to pause and reflect, pray, then apply and put in to action some tips I've picked up reading my book. Today I have a chance to grow or to decline. I choose to grow.

 

So, I will disregard the negative comment. Whether it was said or not. Whether it was taken out of context or not. I know I am a good mom. I say that as I type one handed and hold my son with the other arm as he sleeps. I am a mom that learns and grows. I am a mom that makes mistakes and tries to learn from them and most importantly... I am a mom that is trying to learn to "keep it shut".

This morning I woke up and had the pleasure of snuggling with my little man. It was great! It made my heart happy. So much heartache, yearning, tears, praying before my son came along. It reminded me of another lady I've read about who wanted a baby very much.

Hannah wanted a baby so much. One day she went to the temple and prayed. She prayed a desperate prayer. She was so emotionally involved in this prayer that the priest thought she was drunk. Hannah when confronted with this accusation explained to the priest that she was desperate for a son. The priest blessed Hannah and sent her on her way.

Hannah had her baby boy. She called him Samuel. When Samuel was old enough she took him to the temple and dedicated him back to the service of the Lord.

No, I won't be taking my son up to the church and dropping him off. I have though dedicated him back to the Lord and will train him up to put God first. As Hannah said, "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him". I'm so thankful God has given me the desires of my heart.

A Note From Daddy: Realizing The Change

I felt it today. I hadn't noticed it before, but it was happening. I started to realize the change.

I walk into a store and I look at diapers. I look at baby toys. I look at baby clothes. I had never noticed these items on the store shelves before. There was a change in my life.

I've organized my house to make room for my boy's stuff. Cupboards that were once filled with items we've never used are now filled with his bottles, bowls and food. A shelf in the bathroom was cleared for his bathroom needs and everywhere I look I can see his toys and pacifiers. There's been a change in my home.

Now when I turn on the tv, I no longer watch the news, sports or my favorite sitcoms. I look for educational children shows such as Sesame Street. There's been a change in my lifestyle.

I no longer work long hours to satisfy my own wants. I work for him to give him a warm and safe home and to supply his every need. (I say within reason, but know in the back of my head I will give him whatever he wants) There's been a change in my priorities.

You think you know love. You've always had your mother and father's love. I love my wife, but nothing compares to this new love. It is a whole new feeling, this love for my child. It's a love that can make you smile, but cry. Today I realize the change.

I Never Knew

Recently a minister visited our church and said that he was the best parent there was until he had children. I laughed. I laughed hard. It's true!

I never knew how ignorant I was. How many times in my past did I offer unsolicited advice to parents? How many times did I say "when I'm a parent"? How many times did I groan, roll my eyes and not so quietly judge the parents of a screaming child in a store?

I daily learn a lesson regarding this self righteous behavior. A daily lesson brought to me from the one and only.

Daily I learn that things are not always as they seem. Parenting is not black or white. 

Lesson #1 - Babies cry! Sometimes my little man cries. He cries! Sometimes there is a reason. It can be because he needs his diaper changed, he's hungry, he needs his medication for reflux, etc. Sometimes he cries for reasons only known to him. These times can be frustrating. It's also exhausting and can cause great alarm and worry. It's humiliating and hurtful when you catch people rolling their eyes, mumbling under their breath or just very openly "acknowledging" your crying baby with helpful advice to you the parent. 

Lesson #2 - Things change! Raising a child is different than it used to be. Just because it worked for you in the past (even if it was yesterday) doesn't mean it is right for me and my child today. People want to be helpful, but sometimes it can be downright annoying hearing the "this is how I raised my child". Things change and as a parent I need to listen to advice given to me by experts (aka the doctor) and follow what I feel is best.

Lesson #3 - Just because an expert "suggests" it, doesn't mean it will work or is the best thing for me and my child. This seems to contradict lesson #2 a bit, but believe me, it does not.

I think the hardest thing for me is knowing that I expect that everyone is judging me as harshly as I have judged other parents. Don't get me wrong, I still fail at being nonjudgmental. I still hear myself offering unsolicited advice, rolling my eyes, muttering under my breath and saying things such as "if that were my kid...". Yes, I am a human, but I am getting better. I have started to slow down and try to open myself up to someone else's perspective. I try very hard to see the other side. It's difficult, but necessary.

Of course, I still always want to reevaluate everything. Could something be done differently? Can I change the circumstances? A step closer to feeling less judged because I am judging less.

One day I will make it to perfection, but until then, this little man will continue to help me learn.

Grease Him Up

While at my sons four month check up, I mentioned to the doctor that he tends to have an on again, off again rash. I felt it might just be dry skin and she agreed. My biggest worry was his face because that is the most visible nod I had read that you should not put the Johnson & Johnson lotions (aka baby cologne in our house) on a baby's face. Our doctor said that when her children were young she would just take Aquaphor at night, grease them up and slide them in to their pajamas. I have never used Aquaphor before, so I thought this meant that our doctor would put a whole lot of lotion on. She also suggested Cetaphil and Aveeno for babies for during the day.

So, I stopped by Walgreens on the way home and picked up one of each. That night, I changed Joseph's diaper and before putting on his pajama's opened up the Aquaphor. I laughed! It was thick like Vick's Vaporrub. I put some on my fingers and yes, it had the same consistency. "Well", I thought, "here we go." The "greasing up" part was not that difficult, but keeping any pet hair, lint, etc off of my son before I could put his pajama's on was not easy. Then the really fun part began, putting the pajamas on. I will not lie. This is one very slimy difficult mess. When I picked my son up to put the pj's down underneath him, he almost slid right out of my hands. It was one of those "you had to be there" comical moments. Even Joseph was giggling by the end of the whole procedure. I carry the Cetaphil with me in the diaper bag. It came in a tube that fits very nicely in one of the spots for baby bottles. The Aveeno I use throughout the day here at home whenever Jo's skin starts to look a little dry. It really has helped and his skin feels soft and moist. Daddy is no longer afraid to give him early morning snuggles for fear that his beard will tear up his skin. At this time, we have set aside the Johnson & Johnson lotions. Maybe we will use those this summer. Here are some helpful tips to greasing up your baby in the evening: - Have a wet washcloth nearby to wash your fingertips. It makes it easier to handle their clothing. I have used wipes, but find it easier to use the washcloth in the middle of the process. - Put the pj's down underneath your baby before you start greasing. - Put each body part in the pj's as you finish. (This is where the washcloth comes in handy. You can just wipe the fingers of one hand to grab the piece of clothing you need to lift.