It was a tough sell. Both my husband and I love animals, but our house was already full with three dogs and two cats. Each of these animals would (and still do) give me love, until my husband came home. Then I was just the chopped liver that someone tried to eat, but vomited back up on the floor. Honestly, we did not need another animal. However, you couldn't deny how much love this little guy had to give and he was so social.
We tried to do the responsible thing. With my husband being the only one working, another pet was not what we needed financially. My husband left with him in the car, but returned with him a little later. The humane society near us said they do not do intake from the public and we would have to take the cat to the county humane society. My husband told them he wasn't comfortable with this since it was a kill shelter. Their reply was "yes, but it's only a low kill shelter". So the cat came home.
My husband wanted to call him Whiskey since he had taken up residence in the whiskey barrel planter we had on our deck. Dan, however, lacks imagination when it comes to naming animals. His right to naming was revoked after he named our calico cat Callie. I had a couple of regal names that I threw out there that were nixed, but we finally agreed upon Dexter. Dan felt it was appropriate since he had taken up residence on our deck and I was also happy because one of my all time favorite shows (I admit this with minimal shame) was Dexter. Why would you not want to name your cat after a character that is a serial killer that kills serial killers?
Dexter was my one and only love in the house. When I came home he would be sitting on the very edge of the kitchen island, as close to the edge as he could get to put him closer to me. It didn't matter where I went, downstairs, upstairs, bathroom, kitchen, living room, Dexter was always there right beside me. Even to this day, I know that this cat loves me unconditionally and I love him the same. The dynamic of the house has changed a little in the past year with the baby, so he doesn't follow me around quite as much, but every night when I crawl in to bed, up hops my favorite animal in the house to cuddle with me for a few minutes before he goes down by my feet to sleep.
The one thing that Dexter does is beg to go outside. In the past, we have had trouble with him sneaking out when we opened the door to let the dogs out. We would have to act fast to catch him and bring him back. When we go outdoors, Dexter will sit next to the nearest window or door to you so that he can peer out at you. He will alternate between staring hard at you and meowing really loud as if death could be at his door.
Dexter doesn't understand that I keep him inside for his own good. You see, we have coyotes that frequent our yard and neighborhood. We occasionally have owls that like to search out small prey. Of course, there are hawks as well. This doesn't include the foxes, stray cats, opossum and other little animals that may look cute, but could in fact mean danger to my beloved cat.
I sometimes wonder if Dexter looks out at the dogs and thinks "it isn't fair". His eyes tell me he thinks it. I know I would think it. Sitting there in the window watching those dogs run around free, chasing the birds and squirrels. I know it probably doesn't seem fair.
Dexter really wants to go outside. He wants to explore and chase things. He wants to roll in the grass and be free. He doesn't see the dangers that I do because they are not visible to his eye. He hasn't had a reminder of the dangers lurking out there for him. The safety of the house has given him a false sense of security.
Isn't that the same way with God? Doesn't He love us so much that He puts up roadblocks to steer us from danger. Maybe He closes the proverbial screen door to keep us in safety. Sometimes, He dodges after us and grabs us by the scruff of the neck (sometimes the tail if that's the only thing He can grab) before we disappear in to the world of danger.
It doesn't always feel good and sometimes we are left with a whole lot of questions swimming around in our head. Why didn't I get that job? Why isn't that friend in my life anymore? Why wasn't it easier to have a baby? Maybe you've used the "it isn't fair" line. Maybe you've wanted to just linger a little bit in your old life. God sees the dangers, whether big or small, and understands what they can mean to our lives. He isn't trying to deprive us of what we see others enjoying, but He is trying to protect us until we are ready to walk through that door or handle circumstances that we might not have been able to handle in the past. Maybe we need time to grow. Maybe we may never step outside that particular door again.
I'm thankful that I serve a God that loves me so much that He will protect me even if I question Him. Even if I doubt Him. Even if I stare longingly at what others have and I think I want. He loves me. I'm thankful He doesn't send me off to another shelter with the thought of "well it's only a low kill shelter over there... hopefully she does well there". He has my best interest at heart and does everything for my own good.
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